the definition of nothing

from the merriam-webster dictionary:

bender: noun  1. one that bends  2. spree

spree: noun  1. an unrestrained indulgence of an activity  – especially binge, carousal

binge: noun  1a. a drunken revel  1b. an unrestrained and often excessive indulgence

this was my weekend. ah hell, it was my entire week.

since you last heard from me, dear readers, life has taken a turn for the surreal. i will not go into detail here, as sensitive issues are at hand. or in hand, as it were. if you are one of the lucky (or doomed) people who are around me during the following events, you just might hear about it:

1. lunar or solar eclipse. possibly both. simultaneously.

2. pigs flying while they’re in hades freezing their feathers off.

3. republicans admitting they’re just a big fat bunch of lying wusses.

if you’re not around me when these events occur, sorry charlie. ya aint gettin’ nuttin from me.

but i can tell you that i did drink. alot. hooey, boy, a-whole-helluva-lot. so much, in fact, that i have decided that i’m off alcohol. that’s it. i mean it. no more hootch for this hoochie-mama. finito on the ole’ boozerino. ix-nay on any more oonshine-may. liquor shall not come near these luscious lips again.

at least until thursday at pete’s birthday party.

which is at the merc. which is where i got into lots of trouble last week.

which brings me back to what i can’t talk about. damn.

so instead of a play-by-play, i was going to regale you with musings on my dream last night. and i tried, i really tried to make sense of it all by writing it down. but it didn’t work. so, you’ll just have to go to sleep unsatisfied tonight.

sorry to be such a tease, but i can only say one thing in my defense…

i’m not bad, i’m just drawn that way.

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