so pete’s birthday party was last night, and i actually remained pretty well-behaved.

shocking.

i mainly sat at the end of the bar, talking to a select few and sipping my drink with reserve and decorum. okay, fine, slurping my drinks with revelry and debauchery. occasionally i would make a foray into the throngs of well-wishers to say hi to those I don’t see regularly. on one of these trips i caught anna as she was leaving, and in our subsequent conversation, she brought up an interesting phenomenon called google whacking.

having never heard of such a thing, anna proceeded to tell me that it’s where you enter two words into the google search engine with the intent of receiving as few matches as possible. i’m pretty sure that’s what she said, but it just might have been the ouzo talking.

anywho, being a word nerd of the highest order, i was immediately intrigued. so what do i do first thing this morning?  google whack. i was amazed at by the fact that entries such as albatross knickersyielded 4,000 results. so it was a little harder than i thought, but you know how i like a challenge. i got the hang of it after a bit, and wanted to share. please note that some of the combinations below would make awesome band names.

my best five, with match result numbers afterward:

1. surinam stilettos – 135

2. porcine haberdasher – 64

3. gonorrheal solidarity – 36

4. cumulonimbus toboggans – 11

5. nefarious potsticker – 0

that’s right, ladies and gents. i finally hit upon a two word combination that yielded no results. i guess i’m just a little too cool for school.

so try it. you’ll like it.

i promise.

meanwhile, everyone gear up for my shindig on the 30th. i’ve gotta go catch up on my bruce sleep.