i’m no good with spiders
i’m allergic to snakes
yeah, they give me the shakes
i can’t climb real high
altitude makes me dizzy
don’t know why, it’s a mystery
but if you’re ever in distress
just give the word, i’ll do it baby
give me a shout, just not too loudly

i’ll be your sampson
will you be my de-li-la-li-la-li-li-lah
light up the night, my dear
well, no quite so bright, my dear
i’ll fight for you, die for you
verbally, metaphorically
i’ll do anything you ask of me
maybe

i’ve got no flair for politics
foreign policy makes me crazy
and i can’t stand babies
i’m hopeless at crosswords
never got my g.e.d.
and my eyes won’t go diagonally
but if you’re ever in a bind
just give me a sign, i’ll jump the fence
give me a call, just not long distance

i’ll be your sampson
will you be my de-li-la-li-la-li-li-lah
light up the night, my dear
well, no quite so bright, my dear
i’ll fight for you, die for you
verbally, metaphorically
i’ll do anything you ask of me
maybe

i can’t be in tight spaces
or out too long in public
i’m clinically claustragoraphobic
i’ve never said “i love you”
not even to my mother
or when i would have got me further
but if you’re ever in a spot
just give me time, i’ll make a start
give me a nudge, just not too hard

i’ll be your sampson
will you be my de-li-la-li-la-li-li-lah
light up the night, my dear
well, no quite so bright, my dear
i’ll fight for you, die for you
verbally, metaphorically
i’ll do anything you ask of me
anything at all, i’ll be
your spiderman, batman
superman and green lantern
jack kennedy, abe lincoln
al einstein and walt whitman
harry houdini, bobby de niro
casanova and rudy valentino
i’ll be everything for you, darlin’
i’ll do anything for you, baby
maybe